Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
More Quotes by Anonymous
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.
I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot."
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
When we go to seafood restaurants I tell them 'Just water for me, thanks.' - Fish
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'
If you live in a school, then you're probably a fish.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2016