Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
If you live in a school, then you're probably a fish.
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
When we go to seafood restaurants I tell them 'Just water for me, thanks.' - Fish
I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot."
To thrive in life you need three bones. A wish bone, a back bone, and a funny bone.
I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
People say I act like I don't care. It's not an act.
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