Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?' Anonymous
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer. Anonymous
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old. Anonymous
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot." Anonymous
I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited. Anonymous