I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework. Anonymous
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George Burns
No matter how smart you are you can never convince someone stupid that they are stupid. Anonymous
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you. Anonymous
My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it. Anonymous
Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.
I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly. Steven Alexander Wright
It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. Steven Alexander Wright
Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.