A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake.
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together.
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
I'm not running away from hard work, I'm too lazy to run.
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.
If Monday had a face... I would punch it.
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.
My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter.
If only common sense were more common.
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.
Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.
Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today.
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I'm gonna need everybody to stop living here.
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