Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. - Anonymous
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. Anonymous
Math Quotes Wise Quotes
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous
Drinking Questions Stupid Quotes
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If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. - Anonymous
If you can't remember my name, just say "Chocolate" and I'll turn around. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes Top 100
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. - Anonymous
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved. Anonymous
Math Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious. - Anonymous
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I'm hilarious. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach. - Anonymous
You just can't live a full life on an empty stomach. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! - Anonymous
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. - Anonymous
I haven't even gone to bed yet and I already can't wait to get home from work tomorrow. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Better moment
There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Moments Sayings
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. - Anonymous
I would go out of my mind, but I can't find the exit. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. - Anonymous
Why do you wear glasses? My eyes are so beautiful they have to be kept behind glass, like a showcase. Anonymous
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