When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!
Carrots are a great thing to eat when you're hungry, and want to stay that way.
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.
Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section.
Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out.
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.
If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.
Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.
There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'
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