Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

Never test how deep the water is with both feet. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

You can't run through a campground. You can only "ran," because it's past tents. Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. - Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Love Quotes Money Quotes

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. - Anonymous

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous

Never Quotes People Quotes Phone

I love you forever... but I can't live that long.

I love you forever... but I can't live that long. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.

I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors. - Anonymous

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. - Anonymous

What's your best non-swearing insult? I hope you step on a Lego. Anonymous

Questions Short Quotes

Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Give me your photo so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. Anonymous

Love Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. - Anonymous

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. Anonymous

Funny Tree Quotes Moments Short Quotes

Beer together

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Moments

I am too lazy to be lazy.

I am too lazy to be lazy. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous

If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous

Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels. - Anonymous

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels. Anonymous

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog.

For the best seat in the house, you'll have to move the dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. - Anonymous

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale's mating call. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. - Anonymous

I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Top 100

A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it. - Anonymous

A good mood like is like a balloon, one prick is all it takes to ruin it. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes

I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. - Anonymous

I'm super lazy today. It's like normal lazy but I'm wearing a cape. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. - Anonymous

I don't know how to act my age because I've never been this old before. Anonymous

Know Quotes Never Quotes People Quotes

You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' - Anonymous

You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes

The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. - Anonymous

The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. Anonymous

Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. - Anonymous

Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes