Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.

Anonymous

If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. - Anonymous

If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Anonymous

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done.

Anonymous

When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does.

Anonymous

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I finally found love... in Webster's dictionary, page 357 at the bottom right. - Anonymous

I finally found love... in Webster's dictionary, page 357 at the bottom right.

Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Anonymous

On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. - Anonymous

On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth.

Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous

I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Anonymous

Men are like bank accounts.<br/> Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. - Anonymous

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

Anonymous

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Anonymous

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Luckiness top moment: To get run over by an ambulance.

Anonymous

Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.

Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.

Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

Anonymous

I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. - Anonymous

I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? - Anonymous

How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?

Anonymous

I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly. - Anonymous

I would like to apologize to anyone whom I haven't offended yet. Please be patient, I will get to you shortly.

Anonymous

I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous

I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Anonymous

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous

I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Anonymous

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