Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. - Anonymous
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Work Quotes
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... - Anonymous
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
There are more important things in life than Facebook and Twitter,.. like watching TV, and having a beer. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Facebook
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Zoning out is your brain's way of saying "You look bored. Let me take you to a better place."
Zoning out is your brain's way of saying "You look bored. Let me take you to a better place." Anonymous
Think Quotes
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. - Anonymous
A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. Anonymous
Animals
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Smile while you still have teeth.
Smile while you still have teeth. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day.
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it's a brighter day. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. - Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Top 100
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. - Anonymous
I might wake up early and do some exercise, or I might win the lotto, the odds are the same. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery. - Anonymous
Work is just something I'm doing until I win the lottery. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings. Anonymous
Phone
Friendship is like peeing on yourself.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Anonymous
Analogies Friend Quotes Top 100

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