Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. - Anonymous

Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.

Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. - Anonymous

For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.

Love Quotes People Quotes

I am too lazy to be lazy.

I am too lazy to be lazy.

Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit me... should be here any time now. - Anonymous

I'm not lazy, I'm waiting for inspiration to hit me... should be here any time now.

Lazy Quotes Time Quotes

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing. - Anonymous

I'm not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Short Quotes Work Quotes

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you. - Anonymous

Always run away from temptations... but slowly, so they can catch up to you.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country. - Anonymous

The book of records wanted to give me the record for the biggest liar, but I lied that I moved out of the country.

I don't understand, but I also don't care... so it works out. - Anonymous

I don't understand, but I also don't care... so it works out.

Short Quotes Witty Quotes

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!"

Start each day with a positive thought, like: "I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours." - Anonymous

Start each day with a positive thought, like: "I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours."

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.

Sayings Short Quotes Statements

I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss. - Anonymous

I don't jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Short Quotes Work Quotes

I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. - Anonymous

I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow.

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. - Anonymous

Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Drinking Short Quotes

A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness. - Anonymous

A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night. - Anonymous

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! - Anonymous

If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday!

Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday. - Anonymous

Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size. - Anonymous

It's not that I want more shoes, it's just that they keep making them in my size.

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.

If there's no love in the world,... let's make some.

If there's no love in the world,... let's make some.

Love Quotes Short Quotes World Quotes

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Friendship quote - Real friends walks in when the rest walk out

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

Friend Quotes Short Quotes World Quotes