Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Whenever I have a headache I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle. Anonymous
Life Quotes
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous
Questions Sayings Top 100
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. - Anonymous
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
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If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing? - Anonymous
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. - Anonymous
Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. - Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. - Anonymous
I didn't fall, I'm just spending some quality time with the floor. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
If Monday had a face... I would punch it. - Anonymous
If Monday had a face... I would punch it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. - Anonymous
I don't understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can't remember why I walked into the kitchen. Anonymous
Top 100
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! - Anonymous
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry! Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. - Anonymous
Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor. Anonymous
Analogies Money Quotes Short Quotes
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. - Anonymous
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes

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