A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
If you know something will go wrong and you do everything to stop it from happening, then something else will go wrong.
Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen.
I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried."
I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate.
Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
I am too lazy to be lazy.
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes.
If at first you don't succeed, order some pizza.
I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.
Don't wake me up! I'm studying.
The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people always end up behind you.
Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I'm with you.
You don't have to be crazy to hang out with me... I'll train you.
I noticed you are not noticing me.
A toy that can't be broken can be used to break other toys.
A day without coffee is like something without something.
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal.
I might get a job cleaning mirrors. It's definitely a job I can see myself doing.
I wake up looking better every day, but today I'm exaggerating.
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