Anonymous Funny Quotes
A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
I'm so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-top on top of it.
Anonymous
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime.
Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up.
Anonymous
I swallowed an ice cube yesterday and I haven't pooped it out yet. I'm really scared, you guys.
Anonymous
Pro Tip: In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place weiners and/or cheese slices in your pockets so the search dogs can find you first.
Anonymous
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
Anonymous
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find."
Anonymous
We all just kind of accept it as normal that we have a meat tentacle living inside of our mouth.
Anonymous
My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after.
Anonymous