Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. - Anonymous
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. - Anonymous
There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Top 100
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That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. - Anonymous
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge. Anonymous
Life Quotes Moments Top 100
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings
I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it. - Anonymous
I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it. Anonymous
Sayings
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert. - Anonymous
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. - Anonymous
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing? - Anonymous
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through. - Anonymous
Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Back in my day there was so much toilet paper available that people used to string it up in trees to annoy people. Anonymous
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. - Anonymous
Whenever I'm sad, you're there. Whenever I have problems, you're there. Whenever I lose control, you're there. Let's face it, you are bad luck. Anonymous
Top 100 Witty Quotes
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.
When a man gets close to a woman wearing a leather mini-skirt, his heart starts beating faster, his throat gets dry, his knees get weak and he becomes irrational.. Why? Because the leather smells like a new car. Anonymous
Man Quotes Marriage Quotes

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