Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. Anonymous

You can teach a cat to do...

You can teach a cat to do anything that it wants to do. Anonymous

Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. - Anonymous

I really should do something with my life... maybe tomorrow. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. - Anonymous

Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. Anonymous

Drinking Short Quotes

That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. - Anonymous

That awkward moment you can't understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times. Anonymous

Moments Time Quotes Top 100

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! - Anonymous

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous

Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous

You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game.

Stop saying "B4" instead of "Before," you're ruining my Bingo game. Anonymous

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. - Anonymous

I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. Anonymous

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. - Anonymous

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." - Anonymous

"Revenge" sounds so mean, that's why I prefer to call it "Returning the favor." Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Never judge a book by it's movie - Anonymous

Never judge a book by it's movie Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling.

Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous

Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. - Anonymous

I am so broke, I can't even afford to fill up my bicycle. Anonymous

Money Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. - Anonymous

I've learned so much from my mistakes, I'm thinking of making a few more. Anonymous

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. - Anonymous

I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. - Anonymous

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. - Anonymous

When someone yells stop I don't know whether it's in the name of love, it's Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers. Anonymous

Know Quotes Love Quotes Stupid Quotes

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. - Anonymous

Chocolate is great, it gives you energy which can be used to go buy more chocolate. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Sayings

I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. - Anonymous

I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. Anonymous

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. - Anonymous

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Life Quotes

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" - Anonymous

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper "Nobody cares!" Anonymous