Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing? - Anonymous
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
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I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. - Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
People Quotes Statements
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. - Anonymous
A stupid person laughs three times at a joke; once when everyone else is laughing, a second time when he actually gets the joke, and a third time when he realizes he was laughing without getting the joke at first. Anonymous
People Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. - Anonymous
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. - Anonymous
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn. - Anonymous
Been there done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn. Anonymous
Sayings
We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. - Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. - Anonymous
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Statements Top 100
If Monday had a face... I would punch it. - Anonymous
If Monday had a face... I would punch it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes

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