Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I only want one thing from fake people: distance. - Anonymous
I only want one thing from fake people: distance. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. - Anonymous
There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! - Anonymous
I'm a Nillionaire. I have little to no money! Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
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It's hard to find a friend who is 95% talented, 96% funny, 98% loving, 99% intelligent and 100% sweet. So don't you dare lose me! Anonymous
Friend Quotes
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? - Anonymous
Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours? Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
We should start referring to age as "levels." So when you're level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person. Anonymous
Hardest thing ever: Controlling your laughter at serious times. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I would cry but my makeup is too expensive. - Anonymous
I would cry but my makeup is too expensive. Anonymous
Short Quotes
My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt. Anonymous
Short Quotes
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. - Anonymous
My decision making skills are as good as a squirrel that's crossing the street. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. - Anonymous
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. Anonymous
Moments
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. - Anonymous
Intelligence is chasing me, but I'm beating it so far. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. - Anonymous
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Statements Work Quotes
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. - Anonymous
If I say "First of all," run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong. Anonymous
Sayings
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? - Anonymous
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Anonymous
Money Quotes Questions

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