Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong. - Anonymous

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. - Anonymous

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more. - Anonymous

It's all fun and games until your jeans don't fit any more.

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word. - Anonymous

Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my word.

You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous

You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside.

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it. - Anonymous

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet. - Anonymous

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Top 100 Wise Quotes

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor. - Anonymous

If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor.

Life Quotes Sayings

I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried." - Anonymous

I have a new hair style today, it's called "I tried."

Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels.

Short Quotes Work Quotes

You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang. - Anonymous

You and I are really more than friends. We're like a really small gang.

Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF ! - Anonymous

After (M)onday and (T)uesday comes WTF !

Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes

I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.

I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.

Know Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after. - Anonymous

My best friends are like fairy tales, they've been there since once upon a time and will be there until forever after.

Friend Quotes Top 100

Me sarcastic? Never. - Anonymous

Me sarcastic? Never.

Questions Short Quotes

If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters. - Anonymous

If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice. - Anonymous

One day you're 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you're 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Eat Quotes Life Quotes

Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through. - Anonymous

Parenthood, the scariest hood to go through.

Life Quotes Short Quotes

Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text. - Anonymous

Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text.

People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious. - Anonymous

I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter. - Anonymous

My new year's resolution was to quit all my bad habits, but then it occurred to me - nobody likes a quitter.

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Friends come and go, but enemies remain and build up.

Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100