Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
More Quotes by Anonymous
Growing up is amazing, until you get old!
I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.
I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
What great energy, intelligence, and magnificent beautiful eyes... But enough about me, how are you doing?
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
You know you're an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone.
Don't worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither!
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
I only have one wish in life... For all my dreams to come true.
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.
The older I get, the less surprised I'd be if a random body part just fell off one day.
No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with.
My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that.
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