Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing. - Anonymous

What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light? Don't look, I'm changing.

Questions

When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.

When someone doesn't like something, it's often because they're not familiar with it, or they're too familiar with it.

Photo of lioness sitting on grass with quotation about lion being afraid.

A zooology teacher asks the class 'What is the one animal in the jungle that a lion is afraid of?' The class answers: a lioness.

Animals

I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself, no matter what it takes. - Anonymous

I am going to make a very beautiful life for myself, no matter what it takes.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. - Anonymous

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. - Anonymous

I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Be happy, it drives people crazy. - Anonymous

Be happy, it drives people crazy.

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things. - Anonymous

Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things.

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.

Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime. - Anonymous

Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime.

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous

I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry.

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you. - Anonymous

I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.

I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that? - Anonymous

I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?

He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!"

He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!"

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

Never test how deep the water is with both feet.

There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka. - Anonymous

There's just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits. - Anonymous

Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.

If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday! - Anonymous

If it's the fifth day in a row that you don't feel like working, it means it's finally Friday!

Work Quotes

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous

There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing.

Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer. - Anonymous

Don't give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. - Anonymous

Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog.

I finally found love... in Webster's dictionary, page 357 at the bottom right. - Anonymous

I finally found love... in Webster's dictionary, page 357 at the bottom right.

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. - Anonymous

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.

Don't ask me anything, and I won't tell you any lies.