My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing.
Never judge a book by it's movie
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side.
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on.
I don't understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.
True friends don't judge each other, they judge other people... together.
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes.
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert.
I think it's clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you.
If you want someone who will listen to you every time, do everything you tell them to do, and always be there for you for better or for worse, get a dog.
My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
The alphabet begins with ABC, numbers begin with 123, music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
CoolFunnyQuotes.com © 2020