Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. - Anonymous
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Work Quotes
Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous. - Anonymous
Be warned: I'm bored. This could get dangerous. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
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Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. - Anonymous
Sometimes I can't tell if I'm in preschool or school... Oh wait, I'm at work. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.
The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. - Anonymous
Every morning I do 10 sit-ups, to hit the snooze button on my alarm clock. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. - Anonymous
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous
Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. Anonymous
Moments Short Quotes
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. - Anonymous
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. Anonymous
Sayings
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. - Anonymous
I didn't like my beard at first... then it grew on me. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. - Anonymous
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top.
To be a good hunter you need good eyes, a steady hand, and a loud voice so you can yell for help when you're in a tree top. Anonymous
Animals Funny Tree Quotes Good Quotes
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes

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