Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. - Anonymous
Dear auto-correct, that's not what I was trying to say. I'm getting tired of your shirt. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. - Anonymous
I put the "Pro" in procrastinate. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
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I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge. Anonymous
Drinking Exercise Quotes Lazy Quotes
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." - Anonymous
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at the floor, and think "I'd tap that." Anonymous
Statements
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
Life Quotes Top 100
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!
Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous
Animals Eat Quotes Good Quotes
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. - Anonymous
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. Anonymous
Drinking Short Quotes
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous
Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. Anonymous
Facebook Life Quotes Sayings
If Monday had a face... I would punch it. - Anonymous
If Monday had a face... I would punch it. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Work Quotes
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you.
Everyone wants your best! Don't let them take it away from you. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes

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