Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'
The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.' Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? - Anonymous
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Top 100
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. - Anonymous
If you have crazy friends you have everything you'll ever need. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
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If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. - Anonymous
If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front. Anonymous
Happy Quotes People Quotes Short Quotes
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. - Anonymous
Some people aren't just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following.
The hardest part of trying to steal one sheep is stopping the rest of them from following. Anonymous
Animals
I hate it when people ask me to watch their stuff. Like what happens if someone comes and actually tries to steal it? Do I have to fight them? I'm not ready. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. - Anonymous
Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge. Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Moments Short Quotes
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. - Anonymous
So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. - Anonymous
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator. Anonymous
Math Quotes Wise Quotes
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people.
I don't like morning people... or mornings, or people. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee. - Anonymous
Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes. Anonymous
Sayings
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous
Work Quotes

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