Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous
In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking Stupid Quotes
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. Anonymous
Life Quotes People Quotes Phone
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' - Anonymous
The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?' Anonymous
Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Sponsored Links
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' - Anonymous
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!' Anonymous
Top 100 Witty Quotes
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. - Anonymous
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." - Anonymous
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars." Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? - Anonymous
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human.
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. - Anonymous
That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink. Anonymous
Moments
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. - Anonymous
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.
I don't need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. - Anonymous
Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous
Questions Top 100 Work Quotes
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. - Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Top 100 Wife Quotes
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. - Anonymous
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous
Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

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