Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Work Quotes
That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better. Anonymous
Moments
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
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I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands.
I know I'm a handful, but that's why you have two hands. Anonymous
Know Quotes People Quotes Sayings
One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night. Anonymous
Life Quotes
What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! - Anonymous
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous
Exercise Quotes
Asleep first
Those who snore always fall asleep first. Anonymous
People Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Now that I'm quarantined, I finally realize that my only true hobbies were shopping and eating out. Anonymous
Eat Quotes
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. - Anonymous
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. Anonymous
Short Quotes
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready. - Anonymous
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. - Anonymous
Interviewer: Would you say you are independent? Me: *looks at mum*, *mum nods* Me: I'd say so, yes. Anonymous
Work Quotes
If only my teeth were as white as my legs. - Anonymous
If only my teeth were as white as my legs. Anonymous
Short Quotes

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