Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

My four moods: I'm too old for doing that. I'm too tired for doing that. I'm too sober for doing that. I don't have time for doing that. Anonymous

Time Quotes

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My boss told me "It's not rocket science." Yeah, almost everything that exists is not rocket science. Anonymous

Work Quotes

I'm so lazy that I get jealous when it's bedtime in other countries. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

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Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone. Anonymous

Questions Stupid Quotes

A man's home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary. Anonymous

Man Quotes Short Quotes

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year's? Now we're old and cursing because we're staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed. Anonymous

Sleep Quotes

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same! Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy. Anonymous

Cat Quotes Dog Quotes

Today I told my daughter she's giving me a headache! She told me "For suggestions and complaints, contact the manufacturer." Anonymous

When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog, like I'm a blackjack dealer... Anonymous

Animals

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I'll let you do my job. Anonymous

Work Quotes

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up. Anonymous

Life Quotes Short Quotes

One day I'll do amazing things. Today I'll be satisfied if I don't spill food on my lap. Anonymous

Eat Quotes

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat. Anonymous

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

On February 2nd the palm tree checked, and it saw its shadow... six more weeks of sunshine. Anonymous

Anonymous Funny Quotes

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