A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Some days I wish I had the wisdom of a 90 year old, the body of a 20 year old, and the energy of a 3 year old.
If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor.
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.
Life is always rocky when you're a gem.
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.
I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.
I'm not feeling very worky today.
How do you make your cell phone smarter? Turn up the brightness.
Best friend: the one you can only get mad at for a short period, because you have important stuff to tell them.
Me and my best friend can communicate with just facial expressions.
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
Some days, you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue, just live with it.
In the morning you beg to sleep more, in the afternoon you are dying to sleep, and at night you refuse to sleep.
I don't need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right!
A few days ago I lost my weapon of Math instruction... my trusty pocket calculator.
Dear sleep, I'm sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!
Interviewer: What do you make at your current job? Me: Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments.
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
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