Anonymous Funny Quotes

Home / Authors / Anonymous / Page 22

A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.

Short Quotes Marriage Quotes

Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed.

Short Quotes Life Quotes

I drank so much Vodka last night that this morning I woke up with a Russian accent.

Statements Drinking

When life gives you lemons, follow the five-step plan.

When life gives you lemons, follow the five-step plan:
1.Sit on the couch.
2.Turn on the TV.
3.Throw lemons at life.
4.Force life to make lemonade for you.
5.Drink the lemonade.

Sponsored Links

I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Short Quotes Life Quotes Good Quotes

My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting.

Short Quotes Animals Dog Quotes

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.

Stupid Quotes Think Quotes

Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.

Short Quotes Moments Tree Quotes

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.

If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.

If you think patience is a virtue, try surfing the net without high speed Internet.

Think Quotes Computers

Sponsored Links

I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.

I don't have a drinking problem, I have thirst problem.

Short Quotes Statements Drinking

I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Stupid Quotes Life Quotes

Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.

Short Quotes Moments

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.

Sayings Love Quotes

If Facebook has taught us anything it's that a lot of people aren't quite ready for a spelling bee.

Facebook People Quotes

An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.

I didn't find out what happiness means until I got married... and then it was too late.

Marriage Quotes Happy Quotes

Forget the butterflies, I feel the entire zoo in my stomach when I'm with you.