Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. - Anonymous
Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it. Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. - Anonymous
I'm not a morning person. I'm not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Top 100
Now if you'll excuse me... today's bad decisions aren't going to make themselves. Anonymous
Sayings
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One day my wife's credit card got stolen.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Money Quotes Wife Quotes
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. - Anonymous
"Well at least I don't have to wake up any more." Is what I want my tombstone to say. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes
I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face, but with words. Anonymous
People Quotes Short Quotes Witty Quotes
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. - Anonymous
I could be a morning person.. if morning was sometime around noon. Anonymous
Short Quotes
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. - Anonymous
I'm not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt. Anonymous
Facebook
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. - Anonymous
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes Work Quotes
Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Drinking World Quotes
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu. One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment. Anonymous
Questions
Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money. - Anonymous
Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money. Anonymous
Money Quotes Short Quotes
Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes

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