Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. - Anonymous
If I had just one hour left to live, I'd spend it in Math class... it never ends. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. - Anonymous
Two mysterious people live in my house. "Somebody" and "Nobody." Somebody did it and nobody knows who. Anonymous
Sayings
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Phone Witty Quotes
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It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. - Anonymous
No, no, I'm listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once. Anonymous
Stupid Quotes
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? - Anonymous
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous
Lazy Quotes People Quotes Questions
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous
I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes
Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I'm putting the cockroach in the bathroom. Anonymous
Wife Quotes
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions
Cheer myself up.
I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems. Anonymous
Moments Time Quotes Top 100
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day. - Anonymous
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes Think Quotes
Why shouldn't you ever iron a four leaf clover? You don't want to press your luck. Anonymous
Questions
But when you fart just one time...
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time... Anonymous
Happy Quotes Sayings Time Quotes
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. - Anonymous
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it. Anonymous
Short Quotes

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