A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Legend says that when you can't sleep, it's because you're awake in someone's dream. So if everyone could stop dreaming about me, that would be great.
It was me, I let the dogs out.
The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.
Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour.
Hold on, let me overthink this.
Good friends don't let their friends do stupid things alone.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
I love you so much I'd fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu... But a care bear, I'd definitely fight a care bear for you.
Just because I'm awake doesn't mean I'm ready to do things.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.
Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.
I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
They say the best things take time. That's why I'm always late.
Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep.
Bought a talking parrot today and taught him to say "Help, I've been turned into a parrot."
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
A misty day does not signify a cloudy day, it signifies frizzy hair.
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