Just once I'd like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear "Monday has been cancelled," and then go back to sleep.
When I'm at work I can fall asleep instantly, but when I'm in my bed I can hardly fall asleep. Anonymous
I hate Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and half of Fridays. Anonymous
Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so close to Monday? Anonymous
On Mercury a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like every Monday does on Earth. Anonymous
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us. Anonymous
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!! Anonymous
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' Dave Barry
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. Steven Alexander Wright
If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.
Working in a team means spending half your time convincing the others that your idea is better than theirs. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours. Anonymous