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It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
Sam Levenson
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.
Henny Youngman
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that.
Anonymous
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
Anonymous
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
Dave Barry