Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself. Anonymous
Life Quotes
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.
The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. - Anonymous
Retirement is when you stop living at work, and start working at living. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Top 100
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I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed.
I'm not lazy, I'm just very relaxed. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. - Anonymous
Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. - Anonymous
Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you. Anonymous
Animals Cat Quotes Short Quotes
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it. - Anonymous
My bed wasn't feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it. Anonymous
Work Quotes
Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them. - Anonymous
Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them. Anonymous
Wise Quotes
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment. - Anonymous
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment. Anonymous
Life Quotes Love Quotes Moments
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. - Anonymous
Dear Diamond, we all know who is really a girl's best friend. Sincerely yours, Chocolate Cake. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Know Quotes
I'd walk thought fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous.
I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Know Quotes
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you? Anonymous
Love Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. - Anonymous
What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out. Anonymous
Life Quotes Questions Short Quotes
Dear brain, please stop thinking so much exactly when it's time to fall asleep. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. Anonymous
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