Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

One of the benefits of being my friend is that you can come to my house in your pajamas, no make-up, and look like crap and I won't judge you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. - Anonymous
I need a timeout. Send me to the beach and don't let me come back until I change my attitude. Anonymous
Life Quotes
My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck. Anonymous
Work Quotes
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I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! - Anonymous
I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. - Anonymous
The trouble with living alone is that it's always my turn to do the dishes. Anonymous
Short Quotes
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks. - Anonymous
My life is just a series of awkward moments separated by snacks. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
My phone is like my lover, it's the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning! Anonymous
Love Quotes Phone
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. - Anonymous
All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you. Anonymous
Work Quotes
A person who always disturbs you is a person who loves you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Short Quotes
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. - Anonymous
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Wise Quotes
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. - Anonymous
I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. - Anonymous
Sometimes I'm grateful that thoughts don't appear as bubbles over our heads. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." - Anonymous
Facebook needs three buttons, "Like", "Dislike" and "Stop being stupid." Anonymous
Facebook Short Quotes Top 100
I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. - Anonymous
I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. Anonymous
Know Quotes Life Quotes People Quotes

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