A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.
How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
I used to think I was indecisive, but I'm not too sure any more.
Facebook status: I'm not online, it's just an optical illusion.
My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can't sleep.
I can't sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
There is no better moment to postpone something you don't want to do other than right now.
Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can't beat surfing the net.
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them.
I don't always clear my calculator, but when I do, I hit both C and CE a bunch of times because I don't know exactly what they do.
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation.
I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime.
I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.
Your legs must be tired because you have been running through my mind all night.
Paper cut: A tree's final moment of revenge.
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!'
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