Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. - Anonymous
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Think Quotes
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. - Anonymous
I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Anonymous
Good Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! - Anonymous
You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you're full of energy and you can't wait to get to work? Me neither! Anonymous
Know Quotes Moments Top 100
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I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! - Anonymous
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it! Anonymous
Computers Friend Quotes Short Quotes
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. - Anonymous
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. Anonymous
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to run in and grab a 36-pack of toilet paper as soon as the store opens. This message will auto-flush in 5 seconds. Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous
Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. Anonymous
Life Quotes Math Quotes Top 100
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain. - Anonymous
Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. - Anonymous
Me: We need to fall asleep. Brain: No, let's stay awake and think about every decision we made today. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Think Quotes
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. - Anonymous
Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Top 100
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! - Anonymous
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100

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