Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. - Anonymous
A bald spot is like a lie, the bigger it gets the harder it is to cover it up. Anonymous
Analogies Short Quotes Top 100
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. - Anonymous
I found the hotel with the most stars in the world. It has an open roof so you can see them all. Anonymous
Top 100 Witty Quotes World Quotes
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. - Anonymous
I just finally discovered what's wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left. Anonymous
Top 100 Wise Quotes
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My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. - Anonymous
My windows aren't dirty, my dog is painting. Anonymous
Animals Dog Quotes Short Quotes
You're born free, then you're taxed to death.
You're born free, then you're taxed to death. Anonymous
Famous Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! - Anonymous
Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! Anonymous
Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today. - Anonymous
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. - Anonymous
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!"
He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!" Anonymous
Love Quotes Stupid Quotes
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. - Anonymous
If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. Anonymous
Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous
Drinking Never Quotes Stupid Quotes
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. - Anonymous
Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. - Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Marriage Quotes Stupid Quotes
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31.
When you wake up at 6 in the morning, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's already 6:45. When you're at work and it's 2:30, you close your eyes for 5 minutes and it's 2:31. Anonymous
Sleep Quotes Top 100 Work Quotes

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