I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap. Anonymous
Kids, I don't know if our ceiling is the best ceiling... but it's definitely up there. Anonymous
For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there. Anonymous
Silence is golden, unless you have kids, then silence is just plain suspicious. Anonymous
If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. Anonymous
Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly. Anonymous
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Anonymous
Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. Anonymous
I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. Charles M. Schulz
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. Anonymous
The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
The best things in life are free. The rest are too expensive. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck
Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.