Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me. - Anonymous

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don't think being an adult is going to work for me.

The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection. - Anonymous

The only relationship I have is with my Wi-Fi. We have a connection.

Short Quotes Computers Love Quotes

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. - Anonymous

Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.

Never Quotes People Quotes

I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking. - Anonymous

I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.

Stupid Quotes Drinking Think Quotes

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My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.

Stupid Quotes Work Quotes

Me sarcastic? Never. - Anonymous

Me sarcastic? Never.

Short Quotes Top 100 Questions

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake! - Anonymous

Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Short Quotes Wise Quotes Sayings

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

The future is shaped by your dreams, so stop wasting time and go to sleep!

Short Quotes Life Quotes Top 100

I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.

I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes Best Quotes

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them. - Anonymous

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

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Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. - Anonymous

Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day.

Life Quotes Exercise Quotes

Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain. - Anonymous

Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain.

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else?

Short Quotes Top 100 Questions

I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up. - Anonymous

I don't know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly! - Anonymous

I'm a ninja! No you're not. Did you see that? See what? Exactly!

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

I only want one thing from fake people: distance. - Anonymous

I only want one thing from fake people: distance.

Short Quotes People Quotes

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more. - Anonymous

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won't feel like you are lonely any more.

You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. - Anonymous

You never know what you have, until you clean your closet.

Short Quotes Lazy Quotes Know Quotes