Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.

Anonymous

Wise
Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.

Anonymous

ShortSayings

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.

Anonymous

ShortStupid

Sharks are not so bad... If a stranger came into my house wearing only a bathing suit, I'd probably get angry too.

Anonymous

Animals

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Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

Anonymous

StupidLifePeople

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!

Anonymous

QuestionsLive

Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.

Anonymous

ShortMarriage
To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.

Anonymous

ShortSayingsMath

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Anonymous

AnalogiesSleep
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

Anonymous

ShortEat

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When I was in high school I had two favorite subjects, lunch and recess.

Anonymous

ShortLazy
You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

Anonymous

StupidKnow

If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.

Anonymous

ShortStupidThink

I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.

Anonymous

WiseKnowThink

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment.

Anonymous

LifeMomentsLove

Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle.

Anonymous

ShortStupidBeer

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