Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. - Anonymous
Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes Know Quotes
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today. - Anonymous
I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today. Anonymous
Short Quotes Work Quotes
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous
I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Life Quotes
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. - Anonymous
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. Anonymous
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. - Anonymous
I don't have a new year resolution - you don't need that when you're perfect. Anonymous
Short Quotes
Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study.
Studying means 10% reading and 90% complaining to your friends that you have to study. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Moments Statements
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep. - Anonymous
Sleeping on my keyboard. If I answer, I'm talking in my sleep. Anonymous
Computers Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it.
They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Money Quotes
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could! Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? - Anonymous
"Don't worry you'll live." What are you a doctor or something? Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I'd just love to punch right in the face! - Anonymous
I love everyone! I love to be around some people, I love to stay away from others, and some I'd just love to punch right in the face! Anonymous
Life Quotes Love Quotes People Quotes
Yesterday I wore something from 5 years ago and it actually fit. So proud of myself. It was a scarf, but still, let's be positive here. Anonymous
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. - Anonymous
Don't judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect. Anonymous
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