Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. - Anonymous
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Life Quotes
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. - Anonymous
I just wanted you to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does. Anonymous
Know Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. - Anonymous
Of course I talk to myself... sometimes I need expert advice. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Think Quotes
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Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. - Anonymous
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Friend Quotes Short Quotes
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. - Anonymous
Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Life Quotes Stupid Quotes
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place. Anonymous
Questions Sayings Top 100
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. - Anonymous
The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. Anonymous
Work Quotes
I'm still trying to figure out how "wash your hands often" translates into "buy all the toilet paper you can find." Anonymous
Shopping is the only exercise I need. - Anonymous
Shopping is the only exercise I need. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Short Quotes
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to run in and grab a 36-pack of toilet paper as soon as the store opens. This message will auto-flush in 5 seconds. Anonymous
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous
Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. - Anonymous
It takes real skills to choke on air, fall up the stairs and trip over nothing. I have those skills. Anonymous
Sayings Top 100
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning.
I did not trip and fall. I attacked the floor and I believe I am winning. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime. - Anonymous
Some friends are like the wind, some are like mountains. They come in and breeze out of your life, or they are there for a lifetime. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Life Quotes Top 100
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. - Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100

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