Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I'm not arguing, I'm just telling you why you're wrong.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

Life is always rocky when you're a gem.

Short Quotes Life Quotes Sayings

Cheer myself up.

I always try to cheer myself up by singing when I get sad. Most of the time, it turns out that my voice is worse than my problems.

Moments Time Quotes

I don't mean to interrupt people, I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

Life Quotes People Quotes

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Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Short Quotes Never Quotes Eat Quotes

A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with...

A good friend is like a bra: hard to find one you're comfortable with, always provides support, holds you tight and is always close to your heart.

Good Quotes Friend Quotes

Never ask a starfish for directions.

Short Quotes Sayings Never Quotes

The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window.

Short Quotes Computers

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.

Life Quotes Moments

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Lazy Quotes

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I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.

I wanted to make a clever chemistry joke, but the best ones argon.

Short Quotes Wise Quotes Best Quotes

God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

God please give me patience, if you give me strength I will just punch them in the face.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another hole to drain the water.

Questions Best Quotes

That moment when you spell a word so wrong, even auto-correct is like "I've got nothing man."

Moments Man Quotes

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Sayings

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Short Quotes Love Quotes

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Short Quotes Friend Quotes

Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!

Short Quotes Wise Quotes