Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

$In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care?$

In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care?

Math Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?

Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes

I love you forever... but I can't live that long.

I love you forever... but I can't live that long.

Love Quotes Short Quotes

With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. - Anonymous

With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

4 out 3 people struggle with math. - Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Math Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous

A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games.

Analogies Love Quotes Phone

You're never too old to do goofy stuff. - Anonymous

You're never too old to do goofy stuff.

Sayings Short Quotes

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'

Animals Phone Stupid Quotes

Never ask a starfish for directions. - Anonymous

Never ask a starfish for directions.

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! - Anonymous

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!

Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur. - Anonymous

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it's a potato with fur.

Eat Quotes Short Quotes

I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing. - Anonymous

I'm not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? - Anonymous

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

Questions Short Quotes

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you. - Anonymous

Best friends: they know how crazy you are but still choose to be seen in public with you.

Friend Quotes Top 100

You have Facebook? Yup. You have Whatsapp? Yup. You have love? Forgot to install it. - Anonymous

You have Facebook? Yup. You have Whatsapp? Yup. You have love? Forgot to install it.

Facebook Love Quotes Top 100

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Drinking Questions Stupid Quotes

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous

All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.

Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. - Anonymous

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Animals People Quotes Short Quotes

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. - Anonymous

Listen, smile, agree.. Then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.

Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!! - Anonymous

I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!!

Life Quotes Short Quotes

It's really complicated to make something simple.

It's really complicated to make something simple, but very simple to make something something complicated.

Sayings Statements Top 100

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you. - Anonymous

If someone says "Who are you gonna call?" and your instinct is to say "Ghostbusters" then I probably don't want to know you.

Know Quotes People Quotes Questions

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones. - Anonymous

Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.

Life Quotes People Quotes Phone

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? - Anonymous

If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?

Questions Stupid Quotes Top 100

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot. - Anonymous

I'm a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Sleep Quotes