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I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

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I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.

I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. - Anonymous

In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. Anonymous

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Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. Dave Barry

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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen

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Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous

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Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see. Anonymous

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He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.

Paddy O'Dea

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Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.

Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry. Anonymous

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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? Steven Alexander Wright

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Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work. CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend. Anonymous

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What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes. Anonymous

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Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day. - Anonymous

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day. Anonymous

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How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. - Anonymous

How do you know a man is thinking about his future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Anonymous

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Beer together

Let's have a beer together, you can open it and I will drink it. Anonymous

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Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia. Anonymous

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I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.

I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous

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If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. - Anonymous

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me. Anonymous

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I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? - Anonymous

I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up? Anonymous

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Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. - Anonymous

Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge. Anonymous

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