Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. - Anonymous
Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart. Anonymous
Love Quotes Marriage Quotes
A person who always disturbs you is a person who loves you. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Love Quotes Short Quotes
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You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' - Anonymous
You call it nagging, I call it 'listen to what I said the first time!' Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Time Quotes
I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious. - Anonymous
I'm not being smart, I'm just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious. Anonymous
Witty Quotes
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. - Anonymous
That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don't know whether to get dressed or fake an illness. Anonymous
Moments Work Quotes
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. - Anonymous
My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he's 97 years old and we have no clue where he is. Anonymous
Exercise Quotes Life Quotes
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment. - Anonymous
I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment. Anonymous
Life Quotes Love Quotes Moments
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.
Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you. Anonymous
Math Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. - Anonymous
I hate it when people text "Call me." I'm going to start calling people and as soon as they answer I'll say "text me," then hang up. Anonymous
People Quotes Statements
Nutrition labels should include an "What if I ate the whole thing" section. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy.
I stretch my arms, I bend my knees, I straighten my neck, and they are all crunching. Conclusion: I'm not getting older, I'm getting more crunchy. Anonymous
Life Quotes
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. - Anonymous
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute. Anonymous
Never Quotes People Quotes Phone

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