A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
I love my computer because all my friends live inside it!
Dance like nobody is watching, because they are not, they are all checking their phones.
I remember years ago when all I wanted is to be older. I was wrong!!
What I do when I see someone pretty is, I stare, I smile then when I get tired I put the mirror down.
That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you're shopping for something else because they just won't budge.
I'm in desperate need of a 6 month vacation... twice a year.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
They say "don't try this at home" so I'm coming over to your house to try it.
You know what's funny? Lots of things, so lighten up!
Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.
Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other.
Laughter is like a windshield wiper, it doesn't stop the rain but allows us to keep going.
Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!
Square box, round pizza, triangle slices, now that's confusing.
Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?
It may look like I'm doing nothing, but in my head I'm quite busy.
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