A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
I can't wait for that to never happen.
Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end.
If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!
After a while, I eventually fell in love and there was nobody to pick me up.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.
I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.
If a philosopher answers your question, you will no longer understand what you asked in the first place.
Alcohol kills brain cells slowly, but that never bothered me because I'm not in a hurry.
I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there's a small hole in the bag somewhere.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!
I'm off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.
People say you can't live without love, but I think oxygen is more important.
If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door.
Minimum wage is like work enthusiasm, it disappears quickly.
What if there was no Google? Good question.. I'll have to Google it.
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was.
I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.
Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?
It's almost bed time, so I'll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.
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