Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night. - Anonymous

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.

Anonymous

Top 100Sayings
I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

I made a huge to do list for today. I just can't figure out who's going to do it.

Anonymous

Sayings
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face. - Anonymous

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Anonymous

Life QuotesFriend Quotes
I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now. - Anonymous

I've made it from the bed to the couch. There's no stopping me now.

Anonymous

Short QuotesStupid QuotesLazy Quotes

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I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars. - Anonymous

I think something's missing in my life... Like... 2-3 million dollars.

Anonymous

Short QuotesLife QuotesThink Quotes
Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. - Anonymous

Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo.

Anonymous

Short QuotesStatementsLove Quotes
Never ask a starfish for directions. - Anonymous

Never ask a starfish for directions.

Anonymous

Short QuotesTop 100Sayings
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. - Anonymous

just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.

Anonymous

Wise Quotes
The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window. - Anonymous

The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window.

Anonymous

Short QuotesComputers
I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong. - Anonymous

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Anonymous

Short QuotesWise QuotesStatements

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I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me. - Anonymous

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it's like a present from me to me.

Anonymous

SayingsLove Quotes
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago? - Anonymous

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?

Anonymous

Top 100Questions
Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.

Some of the greatest ideas of all time have come to people during Math class... none of which had anything to do with Math.

Anonymous

MomentsTime QuotesMath Quotes
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes. - Anonymous

Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes.

Anonymous

Stupid QuotesTop 100
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!

Anonymous

Life QuotesQuestionsLive Quotes
Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. - Anonymous

Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.

Anonymous

Short QuotesStatementsSayings
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending. - Anonymous

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Anonymous

Short QuotesNever QuotesEat Quotes
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. - Anonymous

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Anonymous

Life Quotes

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