Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met.
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. - Anonymous
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. - Anonymous
There are so many times I made you angry, upset, irritated and tired. Today I just wanted to say that I'm thinking of continuing. Anonymous
People Quotes Think Quotes Time Quotes
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I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! - Anonymous
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure! Anonymous
Know Quotes Never Quotes Time Quotes
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling.
Cleaning the house while your kids are still home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Anonymous
Analogies
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long.
He who wakes up early, yawns all day long. Anonymous
Sayings Short Quotes Statements
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. - Anonymous
Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms. Anonymous
Marriage Quotes Short Quotes
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. - Anonymous
My body has absorbed so much soap, sanitizer and disinfectant, that now when I pee it cleans the toilet. Anonymous
If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor. - Anonymous
If I'm silent it's because there's thunder inside me. Or I'm just chilling, may the odds be in your favor. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings
I am too lazy to be lazy.
I am too lazy to be lazy. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. - Anonymous
I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it. Anonymous
Statements
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. - Anonymous
A relationship with a best friend is like a sugarcane... You can crush it, shred it, grind it, squeeze it and it's still sweet. Anonymous
Friend Quotes
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. - Anonymous
I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes Think Quotes

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