Anonymous Funny Quotes

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A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly.

Don't know where your kids are in the house? Turn off the internet and they'll show up quickly. Anonymous

Internet Top 100

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? - Anonymous

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? Anonymous

Love Quotes Questions Short Quotes

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with.

The probability of meeting someone you know increases a hundredfold when you're with someone you're not supposed to be seen with. Anonymous

Know Quotes Sayings

Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. - Anonymous

Don't worry about what to wear today, your smile goes with any clothes. Anonymous

Short Quotes Wise Quotes

I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. - Anonymous

I don't like violence but I don't mind if I get hit by luck. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. - Anonymous

I'm never wrong. Just different levels of right. Anonymous

Never Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!

I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck! Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes Statements

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. - Anonymous

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. Anonymous

Analogies Drinking Wife Quotes

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment. - Anonymous

I love it when strangers smile at me and I smile back, and we have that nice stranger smiling moment. Anonymous

Life Quotes Love Quotes Moments

I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once. - Anonymous

I'm a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once. Anonymous

Lazy Quotes Short Quotes

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! - Anonymous

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! Anonymous

Facebook Life Quotes

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. Anonymous

Facebook Life Quotes Sayings

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training? Anonymous

Exercise Quotes Short Quotes

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous

Animals Phone Stupid Quotes

In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care?

In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care? Anonymous

Math Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. - Anonymous

Interviewer: So tell me about yourself. Me: I'd rather not.. I kinda want this job. Anonymous

Questions Top 100 Work Quotes

4 out 3 people struggle with math. - Anonymous

4 out 3 people struggle with math. Anonymous

Math Quotes Short Quotes Top 100

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. - Anonymous

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. - Anonymous

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad. Anonymous

Short Quotes Sleep Quotes

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! - Anonymous

Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing! Anonymous

Love Quotes Sayings Short Quotes

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. Anonymous

Beer Quotes Drinking Lazy Quotes

A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous

A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous

Analogies Love Quotes Phone

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. - Anonymous

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. Anonymous

Life Quotes Sleep Quotes Time Quotes

I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. - Anonymous

I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% on Friday. Welcome back weekend. Anonymous

Top 100 Work Quotes