A list of funny quotes that are written by an author that is not known or anonymous. Although not known, these amusing phrases must've had an author, so if you think you know who wrote any of them, please let us know.
Alcohol, what's that? It's not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.
I wonder, we lazy people go to heaven... or do they send someone to pick us up?
We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say "I know it's hard, but you'll be okay. Here's a coffee and a million dollars."
For 2019 I wish you 12 months of happiness, 52 weeks of fun, 365 days of success, 8760 hours of great health and 525600 lucky minutes! Happy New Year!
Please God, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.
Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.
Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?
Never let your best friends get lonely... keep disturbing them.
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!
I wish my wallet came with free refills.
The only sure way to make a computer go faster is to throw it out the window.
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running.
Life is not about how you survive the storm, it's about how you dance in the rain.
With great power comes an even greater electricity bill.
The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
Never play poker with the world's fastest animal, because he's a cheetah.
Don't worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.
Some people can eat anything they want and stay slim. I put on weight just by reading the recipe.
just once I'd like to read a medication label that says: Warning, may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal.
Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase all doubt.
What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!
I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
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