Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing!
Stop crying, Monday will be over soon.
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.
Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
Can we start the weekend again? I wasn't ready.
Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.
If you don't like your job, you don't strike! You just go in every day, and do it really half assed. That's the American way. - Homer Simpson
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
There is a place you can touch a woman that will drive her crazy. Her heart.
Drinking after work is fine, but if you really want to enjoy working then drink before work.
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
When my boss told me this is the fifth time I'm late, I smiled and thought to myself, it's Friday!!
Love is like playing bridge, if you don't have a good partner, it's good to at least have a good hand.
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad.
They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?
I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.
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