Henny Youngman Quote
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. Sam Levenson
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. Woody Allen
My wife never gives up. She is so insistent that she entered the wrong password over and over again until she managed to convince the computer that she's right! Anonymous
Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over. Anonymous
Marriage is like a hot bath, once you get used to it it's not so hot any more. Anonymous
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
Newspaper Ad. For sale: Encyclopedia Britannica, complete set of 45 volumes. No longer needed due to getting married. My wife knows everything. $200 Or best offer. Anonymous
I always help my wife out with housework such as washing the dishes and doing the laundry. She washes them, and I let them dry. Anonymous
When I tried to do a search for marital advise on Google, it tried to finish my sentence for me, just like my wife does. Anonymous
My wife loves me so much, she tries her best to attract me to her. The other day she put on a perfume that smells like a computer. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife! Anonymous
My wife told me the other day that I don't take her to expensive places any more, so I took her to the gas station. Anonymous
If you want your wife to listen to you, then talk to another woman; she will be all ears. Sigmund Freud
When you see a couple walking down the street holding hands and laughing, you look over to your side and the only thing you're holding is a half eaten sandwich.
I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status. Anonymous
Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life. Anonymous
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams