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I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle. - Anonymous

I'm on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

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My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. - Anonymous

My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Anonymous

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Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. - Anonymous

Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate. Anonymous

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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous

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I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Anonymous

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I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.

I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days. Anonymous

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Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories. Anonymous

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I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. - Anonymous

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. Anonymous

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My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. - Anonymous

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight. Anonymous

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I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. - Anonymous

I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today. Anonymous

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$Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. - Anonymous$

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them. Anonymous

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If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. - Anonymous

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece. Anonymous

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How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... - Anonymous

How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... Anonymous

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Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home. - Anonymous

Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home. Anonymous

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I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. - Anonymous

I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me. Anonymous

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If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Anonymous

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Anonymous

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Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. - Anonymous

Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. Anonymous

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Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world.

Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. Anonymous

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If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean...

If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!! Anonymous

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Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better!

Two mice are eating a movie film roll at a cinema when one says to the other: this movie is good, but the book was better! Anonymous

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In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! - Anonymous

In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry! Anonymous

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Your cake

"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ? Anonymous

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