I eat cake every day because somewhere out there it's someone's birthday and I like to celebrate.
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.
Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.
You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.
"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.
Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home.
How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.
If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs.
Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.
I'm gonna order a pizza 5 minutes before the new year, then when it arrives I'll say I ordered this last year.
Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!
Sit down and let me tell you a story. Once upon a time I was hungry, and that's what happened to all your chocolate.
Diet day #1: All the unhealthy food has been removed from the house. It was delicious.
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