Anonymous Quote

Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.

Anonymous

New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.

Anonymous

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

Anonymous

If you don't cut the cake in pieces and just eat the whole cake, then you only had one piece.

Anonymous

Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.

Anonymous

My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch... I call it lunch.

Anonymous

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

Anonymous

Yesterday I really wanted tacos, and now I'm eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Anonymous

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don't answer because I'm eating.

Anonymous

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

A cookie a day keeps the sadness away. An entire jar of cookies a day brings it back.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

A fisherman who just caught a huge salmon reels the fish in, looks at the fish and says 'I am taking you for tonight's dinner!' The fish replies 'I already ate, can we go somewhere else?'

Anonymous

Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.

Anonymous

You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.

Anonymous

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.

Anonymous

I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.

Anonymous

Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're right.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

"Oh you want to have your cake and eat it too?" Darn right, what good is cake if you can't eat it ?

Anonymous

Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.

Anonymous