I followed a diet but it didn't follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
Every time we try to eat healthy along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday and ruins it for us.
Diet rule #1: If nobody sees you eating it, it doesn't contain any calories.
An adult is a person who no longer grows in height, but instead grows in length and width.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
In the morning I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the evening I can't eat, I'm thinking of you. In the night I can't sleep.. I'm so hungry!
If you eat in the kitchen, your room is always clean, and you go to sleep at 9 o'clock, it means you don't have Internet!!
Next week I'm going on a diet, you can buy me jewelry instead of chocolate.
Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I actually asked for pizza.
Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food.
I thought about losing weight once, but I don't like losing.
If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge?
I lost some weight once, but I found it again in the fridge.
I'm like Pacman when I'm at a party, I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.
Being a beaver is nice, if you're hungry you just eat a piece of your home.
My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy.
Math: the only place where you have to figure out the ratio of yellow candy to blue candy when all you're thinking about is eating them.
If I had 10 cookies and you took half, do you know what you would have? That's right, a black eye and a broken hand.
I eat cake because it's someone's birthday somewhere today.
I'm just going to flip this omelette... Okay, we're having scrambled eggs.
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