Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. - Anonymous
I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Anonymous
Life Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. - Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Paul Fix

People Quotes Statements Think Quotes
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken
You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

Life Quotes Sayings World Quotes
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Sayings Short Quotes
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? - Anonymous
Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? - Anonymous
Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible? Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me...
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the table and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way. Anonymous
Sayings
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' - Anonymous
Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other 'Do we take a dog or do we walk home?' Anonymous
Dog Quotes Stupid Quotes
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. - Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Know Quotes Sayings
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. - Anonymous
Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer to call it selective participation. Anonymous
Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Short Quotes
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
Life doesn't have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes. Anonymous
Life Quotes Short Quotes
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. - Anonymous
Don't mess with me, I know Karate, Judo, Jujitsu, Kung Fu and 20 other dangerous words. Anonymous
Know Quotes Wise Quotes
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. Anonymous
Analogies Sleep Quotes
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