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If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.
Anonymous
I miss the days when you could just push someone in the swimming pool without worrying about their cell phone.
Anonymous
My cell phone is acting up, I keep pressing the home button but when I look around, I'm still at work.
Anonymous
Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
Anonymous
Never trust someone who takes hours to text you back, but when you hang out with them they check their phone every minute.
Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games.
Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'
Anonymous
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.
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The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!
Anonymous
Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
Anonymous
I made my Facebook name "Benefits," so when you add me now it says "you're friends with benefits."
Anonymous
I'd walk through fire for my best friend. Well, not fire because that's dangerous. But a super humid room... well not too humid, because you know... my hair.
Anonymous