Top 100 Funny Quotes

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I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.
I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

Famous Quotes Man Quotes Money Quotes
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find?
Did you ever notice, whenever you need your keys the most, that's when they're the hardest to find? Anonymous
Questions
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes
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In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care?
In Math class we learned more about algebra today, such as X+10=Y should I care? Anonymous
Math Quotes Wise Quotes
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. - Anonymous
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside. Anonymous
Know Quotes Stupid Quotes
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Simpsons

Lazy Quotes Life Quotes Work Quotes
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. - Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Stupid Quotes Time Quotes
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.

Jacques Deval

Animals Funny Tree Quotes Man Quotes
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... - Anonymous
How does a train eat? Chew, Chew... Anonymous
Eat Quotes Questions Short Quotes
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." - Anonymous
You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident." Anonymous
Friend Quotes Short Quotes
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. Anonymous
Animals Witty Quotes
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. - Anonymous
Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands. Anonymous
Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - George Burns
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George Burns
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What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' - Anonymous
What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.' Anonymous
Animals Phone Stupid Quotes
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