Top 100 Funny Quotes

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If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. - Anonymous
If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. Anonymous
Short Quotes Think Quotes
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window.
When a door closes another door should open, but if it doesn't then go in through the window. Anonymous
Sayings
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. - Anonymous
I always knew I'd get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though. Anonymous
Short Quotes Witty Quotes
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Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous
Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. Anonymous
Money Quotes Statements Time Quotes
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. - Anonymous
My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty. Anonymous
Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Witty Quotes
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? - Anonymous
How come iPhone chargers are not called apple juice? Anonymous
Phone Questions Short Quotes
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. - Anonymous
A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games. Anonymous
Analogies Love Quotes Phone
Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. - Anonymous
Friends are like walls, sometimes you lean on them and sometimes it's good just knowing they're there. Anonymous
Friend Quotes Good Quotes Know Quotes
I love my job only when I'm on vacation.
I love my job only when I'm on vacation. CoolFunnyQuotes.com
Lazy Quotes Love Quotes Sayings
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. - Anonymous
Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Anonymous
Beer Quotes Short Quotes Stupid Quotes
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right.
When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right. Anonymous
Happy Quotes Know Quotes Life Quotes
Do you ever go out, and then something happens ...
Do you ever go out, and then something happens and you think to yourself 'this is exactly why I don't go out'? Anonymous
Questions Think Quotes
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. - Anonymous
Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it. Anonymous
Eat Quotes Short Quotes Sleep Quotes
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous
Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. Anonymous
Short Quotes Wise Quotes
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