Anonymous Quote

Hmmm this text message is a little too harsh, I'll add LOL at the end.

Anonymous

Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly!

Anonymous

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Ronnie Shakes

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

Steven Alexander Wright

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Steven Alexander Wright

Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway!

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I'm not here to judge, I'm just pointing out all the mistakes you're making.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject?'

Anonymous

According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden.

Eric Morecambe

Happiness: The emotion that puts your face in motion. Fear: The emotion that puts your legs in motion. Anger: The emotion that puts your fist in motion. Lesson: Don't be afraid or angry and you won't have to run and fight.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading this quote!

Anonymous

If we were on a sinking ship, and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much.

Anonymous

What's happening with your phone, every time I call you it says 'The subscriber you're calling is a monkey, please contact the zoo.'

Anonymous

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too many people were crying from laughter so it's no longer available.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

My advice is to never listen to any advice, not even this one.

Anonymous

My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them.

Anonymous

Stop texting me in the middle of texting you... now I have to change my text.

Anonymous

A relationship without trust is like a cell phone with no service, all you can do is play games.

Anonymous