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Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time. - Anonymous

Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

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What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.

Moments Money Quotes

Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Your bank account can be overdrawn, but it can never be overfilled.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Sayings Never Quotes

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

Short Quotes Life Quotes

Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

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Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

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They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

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There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

Jim Carey

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The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. - Albert Einstein

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Albert Einstein

Short Quotes Life Quotes Money Quotes

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

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God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin

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I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Short Quotes Stupid Quotes Never Quotes

I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision, ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Marriage Quotes Think Quotes Money Quotes

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members. - Anonymous

Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your money. Please remember to take all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among crew members.

Moments Money Quotes

It doesn't matter how low the dollar will go, I will always bend down and pick it up.

Sayings Money Quotes

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.

One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less than my wife!

Marriage Quotes Wife Quotes Money Quotes

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet. - Anonymous

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.

Sayings Money Quotes

In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.

In America, it is not important how much an item costs, it's more important how much you can save when you buy it.

Sayings Money Quotes

Actual meanings of various terms.

Actual meanings of various terms:
TEAM WORK: Having somebody else you can blame it on.
HARDWARE: The part of a computer you can kick when there are software problems.
IMPATIENT: Somebody who is waiting in a hurry.
INFLATION: Paying today's prices with last year's salary.

Stupid Quotes Work Quotes Money Quotes

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty.

I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. Then I looked into my heart and I found you, and only then I figured out how rich I was.

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They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it.

They say money doesn't bring happiness, but everyone still wants to prove it for themselves.

Money Quotes Happy Quotes

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