Anonymous Quote

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Dear Santa, this year I'd like a fat bank account, and a thin body... please don't confuse the two like you did last time.

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If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.

Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas.

Christmas is a competition between who gives up first: Your feet or your wallet.

Christmas is the time when you buy presents with the money from next year.

Short Wise Time

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Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.

Alcohol doesn't make you fat, it makes you lean... against tables, chairs and walls.

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.

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Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I've gained too much weight.

Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

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I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you're getting a dictionary.

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Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free and three sizes smaller?

Questions Great

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