Top 100 Funny Quotes
You know the potholes on a road are bad when they assign lifeguards to them, in case anybody falls inside.
Anonymous
Pool rules: You're not allowed to do anything that begins with the words 'Hey everyone watch this!'
Anonymous
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I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn't want to learn another language just to have a dog.
Anonymous
I started thinking about the dangers of drinking on new year's eve. After that, I decided to stop thinking.
Anonymous
It's so hot outside that I went to buy vegetables, and by the time I got home they turned into soup already.
Anonymous
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
Anonymous
There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza.
Anonymous
All you have to know about celery is that it's made up of 95% water, and it's 100% not pizza.
Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Anonymous
Displayed 151-165 of 400 quotes.