You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
More Quotes by Rita Rudner
I'm not afraid of flying, I'm afraid of not flying.
Beginner pilot rules:
1. The propeller is just a big fan made to cool down the pilot in the cockpit. When it stops, you can see the pilot start sweating excessively.
2. You don't have to take off, but landing is mandatory.
3. Pushing forward on the flight stick makes the earth look bigger, pulling makes it look smaller.
If you pull too much or too long however, it will look bigger yet again.
4. Flying is safe as long as you don't crash.
5. It's better to wish you were flying than to wish you were on the ground.
6. A good landing is a landing in which everyone walks away.
7. Besides affecting apples, gravity also affects planes.
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, 'Send one of my bags to New York, one to Los Angeles, and one to Miami.' She said, 'We can't do that!' I told her, 'You did it last week!'
I put my phone in airplane mode, but it's not flying!
I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it in the air. Worst transformer ever.
I don't think inside the box and I don't think outside the box... I don't even know where the box is.
I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
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