The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. Anonymous
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.
In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying. Anonymous
I don't understand what's bothering you honey, I bring you coffee in bed every morning, all you have to do is grind it. Anonymous
Some relationships are like Tom and Jerry, they argue and disagree all the time, but they still can't live without each other. Anonymous
My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Anonymous
My prince is not coming on a white horse... He's obviously riding a turtle, and definitely lost. Anonymous
How can you make sure you never miss your target? Shoot first, and whatever you hit, call it the target. Anonymous
Sometime you meet such a prince that you'd rather marry the horse. Anonymous