The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. Benjamin Franklin
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. Henny Youngman
Me and my wife lived happily for twenty years.... then we met. Anonymous
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer. Anonymous
Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams
The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does! Anonymous
Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.