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A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off. - Anonymous

A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

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When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'

Questions Stupid Quotes

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light. - Anonymous

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

The problem with drinking and driving is that trees defend themselves very well.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Drinking Funny Tree Quotes Stupid Quotes

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car. - Anonymous

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Analogies Sleep Quotes Top 100

When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

Famous Quotes Questions Top 100

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car. - Anonymous

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me! - Anonymous

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!

Facebook Life Quotes

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

You know your driving is really terrible when your GPS says 'After 300 feet, stop and let me out!'

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes Top 100

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.

It's not important to win, it's important to make the other guy lose.

Sayings Short Quotes Top 100

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

Know Quotes Stupid Quotes

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. -Albert Einstein

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Albert Einstein

Famous Quotes Love Quotes Man Quotes

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going. - Anonymous

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

Questions Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet. - Anonymous

The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. - Anonymous

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.

Sayings Short Quotes Stupid Quotes

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket. - Anonymous

Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.

Moments Short Quotes

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." - Anonymous

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."

People Quotes Questions Short Quotes

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car. - Anonymous

Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

Short Quotes Top 100 Wise Quotes

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead. - Bill McGlashen

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Bill McGlashen

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you? - Anonymous

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?

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