Anonymous Quote

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A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

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Turn signal.

Why didn't I use my turn signals? It's nobody's business where I'm going.

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The traffic is so slow today that I read two books, ate lunch, dinner, replied to all my emails, and I still haven't got to work yet.

You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here.

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Sometimes I get road rage just pushing a shopping cart in a supermarket.

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I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."

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Yes officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn't see your car.

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You never realize what you have until it's gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

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Me sarcastic? Never.

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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

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If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!

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Why are you waiting so long to report your stolen car to the police? I'm giving them time to fix it.

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When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'

I'm sorry officer but I can't stop speeding... the earth is spinning way over the speed limit in this zone.

I'm sorry officer but I can't stop speeding... the earth is spinning way over the speed limit in this zone.

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Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

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I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.

I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."

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Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?

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