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A cop pulled me over and told me "Papers", so I said "Scissors, I win!" and drove off.

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Me sarcastic? Never.

Short Wise Never

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

If I don't log into Facebook two days in a row, call the police, someone must've kidnapped me!

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Why are you waiting so long to report your stolen car to the police? I'm giving them time to fix it.

When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my name going to be then?'

I'm sorry officer but I can't stop speeding... the earth is spinning way over the speed limit in this zone.

I'm sorry officer but I can't stop speeding... the earth is spinning way over the speed limit in this zone.

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Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast as I could!

I wish that all of my enemies had three cars parked in front of their house. An ambulance, fire truck and police car.

Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.

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I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket."

Short Questions People

Isn't it funny how red white and blue represent freedom, unless they're flashing behind you?

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