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Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? - Anonymous

Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?

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They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable. - Anonymous

I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them. - Anonymous

If you can't laugh at your own problems, call me and I'll laugh at them.

If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline. - Anonymous

If you keep annoying me, I'll give your phone number to all the kids and tell them it's Santa's hotline.

Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly! - Anonymous

Dear phone, if you didn't light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn't have died so quickly!

All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go. - Anonymous

All my bills say "Outstanding." I guess I am good to go.

Men are like bank accounts.<br/>
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. - Anonymous

Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected.

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

I'd like to live like a poor man - only with lots of money.

Pablo Picasso

Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!... He's dreaming too.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. - Anonymous

Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there.

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. Now read it again without the animals.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

Due to current economic conditions the light
at the end of the tunnel has been turned off. - Anonymous

Due to current economic conditions the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.

I fear one day I'll meet God, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

Ronnie Shakes

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

Steven Alexander Wright

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.

Steven Alexander Wright

Whether you give a crap or don't give a crap, nobody wants crap anyway!

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There was a time when people said, 'Jim, if you keep on making faces, your face will freeze like that.' Now they just say, 'Pay him!'

Jim Carey

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. - Albert Einstein

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.

Albert Einstein

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