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Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

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I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

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That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....

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I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

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You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

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In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.

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The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

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I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.

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The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

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I think I've discovered the secret of life, you just hang around until you get used to it.

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Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.

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One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself.

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What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!

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Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.

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Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better.

Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :)
Life: LOL, give me a second!

Anonymous

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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

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Life is a pretty cheezy game, but at least it has good graphics.

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I'm not afraid to die. I just don't like the thought of being gone so long!

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't like the thought of being gone so long!

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Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take.

Life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.

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The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.

The secret of success is to go from mistake to mistake without losing your enthusiasm.

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Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

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