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The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

The most important thing in life is not knowing everything, it's having the phone number of somebody who does!

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I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. - Charles M. Schulz

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

Charles M. Schulz

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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Erma Bombeck

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Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. - Art Buchwald

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got.

Art Buchwald

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The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

The most fun things in life are either immoral, illegal or they make you fat.

Anonymous

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I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

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That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another....

Charles M. Schulz

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I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

I live my life one weekend at time, for those two days nothing else matters, I am FREE.

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Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years. - Anonymous

Who says nothing is impossible? I've been doing nothing for years.

Anonymous

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The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'

The most important four words for a successful marriage: 'I'll do the dishes.'

Anonymous

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You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing. - Henry Louis Mencken

You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.

Henry Louis Mencken

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In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

In life, we must find happiness. I've been looking everywhere and still haven't found it.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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The hardest thing to find in life is happiness.

The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to find happiness.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that. - CoolFunnyQuotes.com

I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my friends for that.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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I think I've discovered the secret of life, you just hang around until you get used to it.

Charles M. Schulz

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Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date. - Anonymous

Life is the dash between the birth date and the passed away date.

Anonymous

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One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes wrong I have somebody to blame other than myself.

CoolFunnyQuotes.com

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What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute! - Anonymous

What did my doctor tell me when I rushed into his office and told him I have 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute!

Anonymous

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Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook. - Anonymous

Most of us don't realize it, but we're all part of something much bigger than ourselves, and we're all connected in some way, not just through Facebook.

Anonymous

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Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better.

Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :)
Life: LOL, give me a second!

Anonymous

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A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

A glass of beer shortens your life by one minute, a glass of wine by two minutes, and a day of work by seven to ten hours.

Anonymous

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