Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school. Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.