Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Today I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym.
Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?"
The difference between running and walking is a lot more apparent when you have to go to the bathroom.
Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.
I follow a rigorous exercise routine that I never get lazy about; fetching beer bottles from the fridge.
I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
Laughing is one of the best exercises, it's like running inside your mind. You can do it almost anywhere and it's even better with a friend.
What is the difference between having a cold beer and going to the bathroom? About 35 minutes.
New year resolutions you can actually keep!
Skip more classes in school.
Call in sick at work more.
Go shopping more often.
Eat more unhealthy food like fries and burgers.
Drink more pop cans instead of freshly squeezing healthy fruits.
Do less exercise and watch more TV.
What is the one machine at your local gym you should use to impress the ladies? The bank machine.
Your mind needs exercise just as much as your body does, that's why I think of jogging every day.
I get enough exercise just by pushing my luck!
I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
To a dog, a fire hydrant under maintenance is like a bathroom that's out of service.
I love my six pack so much, I protect is with a layer of fat.
Of all my body parts my eyes get the most exercise, I do at least a thousand eye rolls every day.
I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close enough.
Exercise? I thought you said extra fries!
I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge.
Yes of course I am athletic... I surf the Internet every day.
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