I don't care when people honk at me, but when geese do, I get out of the way! CoolFunnyQuotes.com
God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way. Mark Twain
Newspaper Ad. FREE PUPPIES: Half cocker spaniel, half sneaky neighbors dog. Anonymous
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket." Anonymous
You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted! Anonymous
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. Henny Youngman
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories... Steven Alexander Wright
It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too, and the day before that. Anonymous
Why was the rabbit chasing the frog? Because the frog kept calling out "riaabit.. riabbit.." CoolFunnyQuotes.com
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people. Anonymous