A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughters school concert.
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.
Why does the bad piano player refuse to play when you offer him $100 to play? The neighbour already gave him $200 to stop playing.
Most of the time... when you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
Most of the time... when you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
Most of the time... when you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But when you fart just one time...
Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
If you let out a loud fart and someone hears you, just yell "Jet Power" and start running.
Why did Adele cross the road? To say 'Hello' from the other side.
My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
Don't vacuum and listen to loud music on your headphones in the same time. I finished three rooms until I realized the vacuum wasn't even on.
I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting... It's like, woah, I'm not the same person I was last night.
Would you believe my neighbor was knocking on my door at 2:30AM this morning? Luckily, I was still up playing bagpipes.
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