Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.
You can't have everything... where would you put it?
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos?
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.
You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted!
Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?
Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark?
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
Naked Gun (Movie)
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost?
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.
George W. Bush
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