Teacher: Why are you talking during my lesson? Student: Why are you teaching during my conversation?
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. George Burns
You can't have everything... where would you put it? Steven Alexander Wright
If you had to choose between eating tacos every day or being skinny for life would you choose hard or soft tacos? Anonymous
Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works. Anonymous
Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working. Anonymous
Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming. Anonymous
When the teacher said "Don't forget to bring clothes for Gym," I thought "Who is Jim and why doesn't he bring his own clothes?" Anonymous
You laugh because I'm different........... I laugh cause I just farted! Anonymous
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. Woody Allen
You know the speed of light; so what is the speed of dark? Anonymous
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...
How many roads must a man walk down before he admits he's lost? Anonymous