If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patterns in their crops and leave.
The surest sign that there's intelligent life elsewhere in the universe, is that it has never contacted us.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Albert Einstein
I just got off a flight that crossed through five time zones. Does that make me a time traveler? Anonymous
I know that Einstein's theory of relativity is correct because every weekend goes by twice as fast as normal. Anonymous
If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z - keeping your mouth shut. Albert Einstein
Dear life, I understand very clearly that you are not fair so you can stop teaching me that lesson. Anonymous
At the end of the day life should ask us "Are you sure you want to save the changes?" Anonymous
Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. Anonymous
Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. Anonymous
If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth. Anonymous
When life closes a door, just open it again. It's a door, that's how they work. Anonymous
I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life.... hibernation. Anonymous
To make a mistake is human, but to blame it on someone else, that's even more human. Anonymous
Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. Anonymous
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Anonymous
If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. Anonymous